Gma Bob

We laid my Grandma Bob's physical body to rest a week ago. I want to blog a little about my Grandma and put some memories down here as I reflect on a woman that was not only my Gma Bob (as she would write it) but also my friend, mentor, craft buddy and sounding board.

Grandma Bob lived most of her life in Lakeview. During my lifetime she lived first across the community on "Grandpa Ed's" place and then later moved to the house that George and I now live in which is right up the hill from my parents' house. I have distinct and fond memories in both homes and most of them are related directly to Grandma. My Grandpa Bob went to Heaven when I was six years old. Although I remember him, my memories are naturally fewer and vaguer. Grandma Bob, however, made a permanent impression on my life and I would not be the person I am without her influence.

I remember sleeping in the little room next to Grandma's. It had a crazy sliding pocket door that sometimes I couldn't quite get to open correctly. It was the warmest, most comfortable place in the world. I also remember sitting by the heat vent by the kitchen table and listening to the grown-ups talk. I remember the sound the "swamp cooler" made when it was running, playing with a stamp set that Grandma stored in the toy closet, and making a "trap" to try to catch the wild kitties.

I remember spending several weeks at Grandma's house when my older brother Jesse broke his leg. It was during that stay that Grandma taught me a valuable lesson about practicing. I was playing some of the songs in my piano lesson books but not really counting or working on the parts that I wasn't getting correct. Grandma was listening from the kitchen and came in and taught me that I need to not only ALWAYS count but also that I needed to work on the parts that were difficult by themselves and not just struggle through it and consider it "good enough." Grandma was always a fan of music and inspired me to share my God-given talents. She would often buy new church music for me and particularly loved a book that I have that combines classical songs with hymns. I played for her funeral because I know how much she loved to listen to me play and sing and I wanted to give her a final tribute in thanks for all she did to encourage my musical pursuits.

Gma Bob fixing my "halo"
for the Christmas Pagent

Grandma Bob and I were kind of schemers together. We planned a couple of events together and also completed various projects. We planned a "Welcome Home" party for Jesse after his long stay in the hospital and we planned a "Going Away" party for Jon when he left for Marine Boot Camp. We made a barn front for VBS in the garage, on July 4, while it stormed outside and we waited out the weather so we could light off fireworks. We created windows, complete with flower boxes, for the Prairie Light Youth Camp store. We were co-conspirators and had so much fun being creative together. Some of my fondest memories of Grandma include the day each summer that I would help her get down and wash all of her teapots and teacups. Grandma Bob had quite the collection displayed on the top of her cupboards in the house I now live in and each summer I would crawl up on the counter and hand them down to be washed. They would sparkle after Grandma was through with them and I would place them back where they belonged. After we were finished we always had a little "lunch" (Grandma couldn't let someone visit without feeding them after all) and sat to admire our work.

Gma Bob and I with our barn and stuffed kitties.

My Grandma Bob moved to her house on my parents' ranch when I was in high school. I LOVED having her so close. I would often run up to Grandma's house for this or that and almost always ended up sitting at the end of the couch (nearest her special chair) and chatting with her about faith, politics, life, whatever. Grandma was always a good person to seek advice from and always had Biblical insight. I know she prayed for me and loved me dearly and in turn, I prayed for her and loved her dearly. I went to college, graduated, and returned to teach and my relationship with Grandma Bob remained strong. She was my friend and my mentor and I loved spending time with her.

Thanksgiving Eve of 2007 changed her life and mine forever - the night of her stroke. I had a feeling that entire day that something wasn't right and when Grandma wasn't in church that night I knew for sure something was up. Grandma had to move to the nursing home after that and I missed her. I missed chatting with her in her living room and I missed working with her in the kitchen, washing the teapots. I missed knowing that she was just up the hill and I missed seeing her in church. I know she missed me too because she missed Lakeview and all of us there. I visited and she visited but things were never the same and I think in a lot of ways I began to let go of Grandma Bob slowly.

A little over a week before Grandma went home to be with Jesus, I visited her. She greeted me and then held my hand and rubbed her thumb over the top of my hand. I sat and cried because I had this deep feeling that this would be the last time I would see my Grandma Bob on this side of Heaven. I prayed silently that God would take my Grandma home. She had longed for years to be with her Jesus. When I got ready to leave I told her good-bye and that I loved her and said "God Bless You." She kissed my cheek and said "God Bless You." She didn't tell me she loved me like she usually would but she didn't have to...because I knew. I knew she had always loved me and had invested her time and advice and prayers in me because I was precious to her.

Now my tears come at unusual times but they are mostly happy tears. I am happy that Grandma Bob is finally home, where she belongs. I miss her, yes, but I know that she is watching over me and interceding for me just like always. I am happy that I have such wonderful memories of such a great woman. I cried the hardest at the funeral when the recessional song "Go Light Your World" played because that was the essence of my Grandma; sharing with others and praying for others and shining her love for God to everyone she met. It is my prayer that I can be a light to the world as well. It is my comfort to know that Grandma is in Heaven waiting for me and all those she loved so well here on earth. One day we will meet again! Oh what a glorious day that will be. I love you Gma Bob!

Pink rose from Gma's funeral in her
(and now my) kitchen window.

Great American Road Trip

Well, this is a bit delayed. I was hoping to blog about our trip as things happened but then I decided that it was WAY more important to spend that time enjoying our girls before they left. So, they are in the airport getting ready to board their flights and I am here, sad, but ready to blog the highlights from our 10 day excursion. Here we go...

Day One: South Dakota-Montana (via Wyoming)
*We left South Dakota early in the morning...packing all of our luggage for the trip plus Dani & Amy's luggage for the flight home was an adventure. Every time we had to repack it we had to shove and cram and hope the door on the hatch would shut!
*We stopped at Devil's Tower on the way to Manhattan, Montana. This is something George has always wanted to do but we have never taken the time to.

George and I in front of Devil's Tower

*We also stopped at the Little Big Horn Battlefield on our way to Manhattan.

Photo by Dani at Little Big Horn

*We arrived in Manhattan, dropped our stuff off at my Grandparent's house and went into Bozeman to eat at Olive Garden...we got salad and dessert only because the electricity went off about 10 minutes after we sat down. We also went to a movie.

Day Two: Montana
*We took the girls to the Lewis and Clark Caverns. George and the girls went into the caves, I stayed in the parking lot (was just there recently and I'm not a big fan of hiking up the mountain to get to the opening). They seemed to enjoy it.

Picture by Dani - down in the cave

*We also went to Virginia City and walked around. Most of the shops and such were closed because their season hadn't really started yet but we did make it into the candy shop! Virginia City is basically a "ghost town" where people went to mine gold in the 1800s (it was the original capitol of Montana Territory in 1865). It has been preserved and has a historical marker on practically every building!

Day Three: Montana
*George and Dani got up early and went to climb MSU's "M" mountain (they actually climbed past the "M" as well). George has also always wanted to do this but climbing a mountain does not appeal to me. He found a nature-buddy in Dani and he's going to really miss her!

Picture by Dani - looking over Gallatin Valley

Picture by Dani - George and Dani at the top of the mountain

*We ate at my Aunt Robyn and Cousin Jordan's cafe "Rise and Shine"for lunch and then spent some time in Bozeman hanging out and taking in another movie.

Day Four: Montana-Jackson, Wyoming
*Day four was a big day. We saw most of Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Teton National Park. We were hoping to see a moose but never did. We did however get to see a black bear and her cubs! We stayed in Jackson, WY that night.

Mama Bear & Cubs

Day Five: Jackson, Wyoming-Moab, UT (via Idaho)
*Day five was mostly driving. By this time in the trip everyone except me had caught the crazy cold Amy came down with the first night of our trip. George was especially suffering so the girls and I ate supper and spent some time in Arches National Park after we dropped him off at the motel. We got to the Arches right at sunset and it was beautiful.

Beautiful rock formations

Day Six: Moab, UT-Albuquerque, NM (via Colorado & Arizona)
*We spent the first part of this day going through the Arches National Park with George. He was still pretty sick with the cold but able to do a little more after some much needed rest. The highlight of the park was probably the Delicate Arch as it is the one you think of when thinking about Arches National Park.

Amy, George, and Dani standing under the arch

*The other part of day six was traveling to the "Four Corners" were Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado meet. Pretty fun to say you've been in four states at the same time :)
*We had an AMAZING supper in Albuquerque.

Day Seven: Albuquerque, NM-Dallas, TX (via Roswell, NM)
*This day was mostly traveling but we did stop in Roswell, NM to see the UFO Museum. Normally we would have skipped this but we were so close to Roswell and George likes alien type stuff so we just had to go! It was fun and we also had some great food for lunch at a Mexican restaurant.
I just realized I haven't loaded those pictures...will share them in the next blog because I have a couple super funny ones of George and Dani!
*We made it to Dallas, checked into our motel, and slept!

Day Eight: Dallas, Texas
*Our first full day in Dallas was a bit of a bust as far as plans went. We started the day out at the Dallas Museum of Art and got to see George's sister Leigh's art exhibit "DallasSites" which was incredible. We also went through three other exhibits which were interesting. We went to lunch with Leigh and then ended up going back to the motel because both George and Dani were feeling under the weather. Honestly, I think we were all pretty tired!
*We were supposed to go to the Texas Rangers game...so we headed out with Leigh, got there, parked, ate some supper in the ballpark, and then the game was cancelled due to the rain and lightening. So, we had custard instead and went back to the motel.
*The pool was still open so we spent about an hour swimming and relaxing in the hot tub. It was fantastic and I think as simple as they may be it will be one of my favorite memories from the trip.

Picture by Dani - Bridge near Uptown Dallas

Day Nine: Dallas (and Oklahoma)
*We started today out with a flat tire. We were REALLY thankful for the full sized spare we had to constantly pack around because on this day it saved us!
*We went BACK to the ball field and exchanged our cancelled tickets from the night before for the afternoon Texas Rangers game. We had a ton of fun watching the Rangers beat the Diamondbacks 9-5 and got a little sunburn (okay, I got really sunburned but everyone else just got a little).
*After the game we spent some time resting in the motel and then went out for sushi with Leigh (this was probably Amy's favorite activity of the trip!).
*We ended the night with some swimming and our last road trip--quick trip to Oklahoma so the girls could be in that state as well before they left.

Day Ten: Dallas (and Germany and San Francisco/Australia)
*That brings us up to the present. This morning we got up, went to eat together for the last time as a family and brought the girls to the airport. We said two tearful good-bye for nows and watched our daughters go through security as they prepared to fly home to their biological families.

If you've made it this far into the post you are a committed reader and to you I share my heart at this moment--that was the hardest thing I have had to do. We both feel such an absence and know that life has forever been altered. Hosting has been a joyful and sorrowful experience. We have learned so much from our girls and will miss them dearly. Right now it feels like a gigantic piece of my heart is missing and I know that they hold it as they cross the ocean. To love someone always means that you will eventually have to let go of them. So, for the past 4.5 months we have made memories and enjoyed and loved our girls and now we let go of them so they can return to their biological family. However, we will always hold them dear in our hearts and they will always be OUR first daughters, Dani and Amy.

Second Post in a Week...Woooo!

Okay, I promised to keep the blog posts coming. Last time I blogged I was listening to Dani clean and pack her room...now I am listening to Amy do the same. Reality is beginning to hit that these girls of ours are leaving in a week and a half and we have so much to do yet...including blogging the entire month of May, so I better get started!

After prom we made a trip to Fremont for George's birthday, went to an amazing music concert that both Dani and Amy were involved in (and I directed of course), two awards nights and graduation (which they skipped to help George deliver bulls across South Dakota) all in one week. It was a tiring week for all of us! By that point we were in countdown mode to the end of school. One week and 1.5 days left. In that last week we had a Dinner/Theater (Elementary Spring Musical) that the girls and George helped make and serve food for and Dani also ran the lights while I ran the sound. Plus we spent last weekend going to the last couple of places we wanted to take the girls to before leaving on our final road trip.

Today we had our last 1/2 day of school. (Notice we are experiencing a lot of "lasts" now, which makes this Host Mommy sad.) The amazing thing about the whole experience of hosting these girls is that I am so incredibly sad about their leaving that I was even sad that today was the last day of school! I am also so happy though because I know that the feeling of sadness comes for good reasons but more about that in a different post.

Anyway, I thought I would share a few of the pictures from our trip to Snake Falls and Smith Falls that we took this past Saturday. Both of these places are within 50 miles of our home so it wasn't a long road trip to get there but well worth it. George also took the girls to Scottsbluff (about 3 hours from us) on Sunday to climb the big butte (I stayed home to do laundry...fun, fun).

Snake Falls--about 25 miles south of Valentine.

George "under" Snake Falls.
He was there for about 10 minutes and got SOAKED.

Amy under the falls.

Amy, Dani, and George

This is so Dani and George--goof balls!

Smith Falls--about 15 miles east of Valentine.

George and Dani by Smith Falls.
They have so much fun together.

Amy taking in the falls.

Our beautiful girls, Dani and Amy, in front of Smith Falls.

Catching Up

I’m sitting here listening to Dani pack up her room and sadness is beginning to set in. We have spent the last few days and weeks running, running, running. This past weekend we did some traveling to nearby attractions but I am getting ahead of myself. I realize I haven’t posted about prom or track yet so I suppose I better get you “caught up” with a few of the things we have been busy with.

The end of April was spent preparing for and going to prom. As the Junior class sponsors, George and I "get" to organize and supervise the Junior class as they plan and decorate for the big event. When all of the work is done we get to stay up late and dance, dance, dance. Dani and Amy looked beautiful in their gowns and seemed to have a great time.

Our beautiful girls.

Amy and her date Chris

Dani and her date Cody

The theme was Fire & Ice. Rebekah came over to get ready with the girls which was the highlight of the day for me. I had a ton of fun fixing their hair!

I am going to try to keep the posts coming to catch up to where we are now...getting ready to spend the last two weeks with our wonderful daughters before putting them on a plane to fly home.

Why Be a Host Parent? Second Edition

At the beginning of this experience, I blogged about WHY we chose to be host parents. Those reasons still hold true but we have learned so much about it since I wrote that post.

Events in the past week have caused me to once again reflect on the choice we made to host foreign exchange students. I want to share an updated prospective from a temporary mom that will be sending home two lovely adopted daughters in a little over a month. I am going to again apologize in advance if I offend someone and also for the length of this post!

The first thing that happened this week was a discussion in a staff meeting about hosting exchange students. During that meeting some of the staff expressed that they are unwilling to host due to the busyness of their lives or the fact that they are “empty nesters” and prefer to stay that way. While I respect their decision for their family, I think they are missing out on such a beautiful experience.

We are just as busy as a young couple as any family could be. We sponsor multiple activities at school, I teach piano lessons in addition to my job at school, we are active in our church, and we keep busy traveling and visiting family. We are away from home more than we are at home. We are also “empty nesters” just in a different way. Some people have raised their children and enjoy the freedom of being just a couple again; we haven’t been given the opportunity to raise any of our own and while we would love our own little ones we enjoy the freedom of being just a couple as well.

Our foreign exchange students don’t replace the children we haven’t had, they are children on loan to us, for us to enjoy (or not) for a time and eventually say good-bye to and return to their real parents. We have had to change the way we live, and at times it has been uncomfortable and even inconvenient but I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. I do not have my own child, this fact is not by choice, but I do have two beautiful temporary daughters that have shaken up my world and changed my life. All too often we want to find reasons why we can’t do something or don’t want to do something that we know will change life rather than look for all the reasons why we should move out of our comfort zone.

Being a Host Mom is NOT easy.  It isn’t easy when cultural differences cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It isn’t easy when teenagers are teenagers and my 29 year-old inexperience has to communicate to their foreign teenage mind that things need to change. It isn’t easy when I just want to forget about dinner but I have two hungry teenagers that need to be fed. It isn’t easy but it is worth it.

It is worth it when they thank me for my wisdom (even if the wisdom was only assuring them they NEED to take that heavy blanket to a track meet). It’s worth it when we have a conversation that reaches across cultural barriers and results in true understanding. It’s worth it when we are all laughing and enjoying a movie or game or other activity and the difference in our upbringing and language and beliefs doesn’t matter—all that matters is our love and respect for one another.

The second thing that happened had nothing to do with our current exchange students. Instead, it deals with a young lady that we picked out for next year clear back in February. When I read her application something just felt right about her and we chose to host her as long as she agreed to a double placement. When a student applies they have the option to indicate that they are open to being placed in the same home as another exchange student. If they do not check to be “double-placed” the agency will contact them and check to see if they are willing to be placed with another student in the specific family that has chosen them. So, our family profile was sent to her and she agreed to be double placed with us.

We spent some time carefully selecting our second student and recently finished all of the paperwork needed to finish the placement. On Wednesday morning our regional coordinator contacted me to tell us that although she agreed to the double placement originally, our first student decided she was no longer okay with it. It felt a little like a punch in the stomach. As I mentioned in my first post about why we chose to host, I already loved this girl and had already found a place for her in my heart. Her rejection feels really terrible. Though I try to stop them, questions go racing through my mind: Why did she choose to reject the placement now? Does she not want to live in such a remote place? Does she not want to live with the other girl we selected? Does she not want to live with us? Did we do something wrong? Why?

Ultimately, I know that God must have a greater plan but sometimes it’s so hard to see what He has in mind for us. “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11) In that I trust that even in the heartache and sacrifice, we were called to host exchange students for this time in our life. Maybe this isn’t for everyone; maybe some people have all the challenges they can deal with. What I know for sure is that God will fill our hearts and home with love and at this moment He is doing that through two lovely young ladies that aren’t our own, but in so many ways are.

Amy & Dani at Winter Formal...we will have
prom pictures in about a week!

Snow Days, Postponements

It has once again been awhile since our last post so I figured it was time for an update. We have actually spent quite a bit of time at home recently due to a large snowstorm that blew in last Monday night and had us "trapped" for three whole days. School was cancelled Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday due to the drifting snow. Around here drifts were as high as 6-7 feet tall in places and the roads were impassable for a long time. We treated Amy and Dani to a real, true South Dakota/Nebraska April blizzard!

This is us sitting at the intersection to the
highway, ready to head to school.

We were able to get to school on Friday thanks to my dad (he plowed in front of us in the tractor),  then my mom went in the gray truck (notice the amount of snow in her wheels!), and we followed her in our jeep...it was quite the convoy!

While we had fun staying home during the blizzard, not everything about it was happy. About a week or so before Dani, Amy, and I had gone to visit a "freak of nature" calf that was born. Calves usually weigh at least 70 pounds when born but this little one was only about 20 pounds and was essentially just a freakishly miniature calf. Unfortunately, during the blizzard the poor little thing was covered by snow and passed on to "cattle" Heaven. Unfortunately blizzards create a lot more work for ranchers and can also be a true hardship in the loss of cattle and other livestock. We are thankful that the only big loss for the Logterman Family Ranch was poor little "Midgy."

Dani and Amy with "Midgy," the little miniature calf.

Today we are back at home due to ice/wind/we don't really know why! We were supposed to get a bunch of snow today but the forecast continues to change and no one really knows what is going to happen. We have a day off and get to stay out of the cold so that's good enough for me. Due to this weather though, our District Music contest was postponed to Monday and the track season has been in complete upheaval as meets are constantly getting cancelled or postponed. It has been an April unlike most others.

Today Amy and I have been relaxing while George and Dani went out to explore some of my parents' land nearby. I have a great picture of Dani all suited up in George's coveralls but she has requested I not post it, so I won't. She looked so cute and funny in the over-sized clothing.

Watch for another post sometime soon about the other event of today--not quite ready to blog about it yet but will share soon. For now, I need to go because the family is playing a fierce game of tile rummy that they are wanting me to join in on!

Driving Lessons

I have been in a very reflective mood lately so please excuse this post if it feels too reflective, personal, or cliche. As we were driving home (or rather as Amy drove us home) from track practice tonight my mind was processing all that has been happening in our lives and how many life lessons can be related to learning how to drive. (Please note that I will refer to Amy a lot...not because she is a worse driver than Dani but because she drove home tonight and Dani did not.)

Dani and Amy have been driving from time to time to (as Dani put it) "keep the feeling" of how to drive. They seem to enjoy driving and are getting pretty decent at it too! We still don't trust them to pull into the garage because that's just scary but otherwise they are doing well. Anyway, on to sharing my thoughts about life and driving.

Sometimes you need to go fast, sometimes you need to slow down.
I don't generally let the girls drive in Nebraska--only in South Dakota. So tonight I drove until the turn-off by the state line, pulled over and switched seats with Amy. She did a nice job of checking to make sure no one was coming before pulling out onto the highway...at 15 mph. I instructed her to use a bit more speed next time because pulling into potential traffic that is traveling at 50+ mph requires a bit more speed.

Sometimes in life, we need to use speed--we have no choice because life moves quickly at times. We have been experiencing that lately. If we don't keep up, we will get lost in the shuffle and miss out on things that need to be done. At other times, we need to slow down and take in the sights. With spring upon us and beautiful weather nearly every day, I have been trying to make a conscience effort to slow down when possible to enjoy these wonderful spring moments with the family. Today I was struck by how amazing the new life of spring truly is. Last fall a huge fire burned a lot of the pastureland right next to the highway we drive everyday and we have had to look at the ugly, bare ground since then. Today as Amy drove, I noticed that green grass is starting to grow back...how wonderful to see that! Of course, my sight-seeing was interrupted by needing to remind Amy of the next lesson...

Stay on the right side of the road!
Amy has some trouble with this concept--due to the fact the we drive on the right side of the road here and she is used to the car being driven on the left side. This is obviously a pretty big deal when an oncoming car is approaching but it is also a fairly big deal between time. The more you drift into the other lane, the more it feels okay and the less you notice it (at least in Miss Amy's case!) Like life, we can become complacent and not realize things aren't going the way the should until it's too late. Staying on the right track turns out to be the easiest way to get to your destination.

The only problem for me is that sometimes the right side of the road isn't clearly defined and determining what the correct path is can be difficult. George recently interviewed for a different teaching position and they offered him the job. Tomorrow I will interview at the same school for a music job and I'm not sure what the right decision will be if they offer me that job as well. I love where I am now but the other school would allow me to teach only vocal music and would have better facilities. On the other hand, CK has the greatest students ever and I would be so sad to say good-bye to them. Which one is the right side of the road? There are not clear indicators. Lucky for me, the next lesson learned is...

Be ready to go the wrong direction and have to change your path.
Most of the time, if you turn the wrong way or head in the wrong direction, you can turn around or make enough turns to right yourself. Things might get a bit hairy at times (like if you turn the wrong way down a one way...) but there are not a lot of mistakes you make that cannot be corrected somehow. The same is of course true in life. I firmly believe that mistakes will happen and the way in which we react to them determines their impact on our lives. I tend to be fairly calm, cool, and collected most of the time. (Obviously this isn't always true but unless I'm totally stressed out I can usually put things into perspective.) When I make a mistake, I try to stay calm and figure out the best way to right the wrong. I have found that getting worked up about things usually doesn't help the situation and so I anticipate that I will make mistakes and prepare myself to take those mistakes in stride and react calmly. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't.

Life is a lot like driving a car. As I am parenting and instructing our lovely girls I find that I am learning to appreciate all of the things my parents went through and taught me. It is scary to get in a car with a teenager behind the wheel! Parenting is pretty scary though...and I'm only a stand-in parent. Every decision I make, every mood I am in, every word I say is being soaked up by two young ladies that need me to be a loving, good role model. I know I fall short all too often but every day I get back behind the wheel and try again.

P.S. Sorry I have no picture to share this time. I will have to share some when the green grass REALLY starts to come in :)