Farewell

As we begin a new chapter in our hosting life, I am realizing that I did not write a proper closing to the last chapter. Perhaps that is because in the case of Hanna the end of the year was very bittersweet and with Spicy it did not really feel like an "end" but rather a see you later. It was an odd but fitting closing to an absolutely outstanding year with our third and fourth daughters.

Hanna graduated from CK - which was really neat because she received a diploma and everything. I unfortunately was unable to be there (playing for my best friend's wedding) and while they took pictures I evidently have not gotten them off of the camera yet. We made and decorated a giant cookie instead of making a cake. Hanna often helped me make cookie bars so it was just more fitting to have a cookie. We had quite the experience baking it however...I'm still a bit disturbed that the smoke alarms didn't go off considering the amount of smoke we had in the house! It turns out that a pizza pan is only a good idea for cookie dough if it has absolutely no holes in it - no idea where my brain had gone, I mean DUH! Anyway, with the end of the year upon us and Hanna's dad and step-mom arriving soon after we had to think of a way to end our time together.

We ended up at a branding. Hanna wanted to experience one last typical Sandhills event and Mrs. Nollette (our business teacher) was kind enough to invite us. So, with three Germans (Hanna, her dad, and step-mom) and a Korean in tow, we went to the branding! It was lots of fun watching our sweet fashionable daughters get dirty :)

Branding is smoky business!

Hanna holding the calf like a pro.

Spicy, you're about to lose those sunglasses ;)

After the branding we headed to Cody to show Hanna's parents around and then we went to the waterfalls near Valentine (Snake, Smith & Fort). It was a great day with Hanna's parents. We ended the evening by having dinner with the Gosslers and then we went home, just the four of us, to spend our final night together. We watched a movie, enjoyed each others' company and fell asleep in the living room.

Enjoying Smith Falls

The next morning we sad a tearful goodbye to our sweet beautiful Hanna. I have missed her everyday since. She was such a blessing to us and I will forever cherish the time in which she was able to live with us. Hosting students is so much more than giving them a place to sleep and food to eat - they become family and Hanna is deeply embedded in my heart and will forever be my daughter.

That same afternoon we loaded up both of our vehicles with the other four girl foreign exchange students and headed for Omaha where they board flights to their native lands. Still saddened by Hanna's goodbye, it was good to have the chatter of the other girls.

Spicy sending her big sister Hanna love,
with the other girls in the background.

Jules and Sabine flew out first and left Susi and Spicy who got to stay a few days more. We had lots of fun with them hanging out in Fremont, loudly singing along to a musical soundtrack (no it was NOT "Frozen") and eating at Taco B*ll just so we could send a picture to Hanna from her "favorite" fast food place.

Enjoying their Taco B*ll

Live Mas

When Spicy left it was a strange good-bye/see you later because we knew there was a very large possibility that she would be back in the fall. The school was completing paperwork to become certified to have F visa students (which is a different visa than she came on the first time) and Spicy was planning to return as long as all of the necessary requirements with the school were met. We were not certain but it felt like (and she seemed to believe) that this was just a summer vacation home and that we really were not saying goodbye. It would appear that this was true. The school did receive approval to have F-1 students so all that is left is for Spicy to actually receive her visa in Korea and to book a flight! It would appear that barring any unforeseen circumstances, we will have three daughters living with us this year. Spicy and our two "new" foreign daughters, Martine and Seraina. As we prepare for their arrival, we think of the wonderful year we had with our family of four (but really of six with Dani and Amy across the ocean) and anticipate a great year as a family of five (but really of eight with Dani, Amy and Hanna across the ocean). George and I have longed for lots of children and until now have not been blessed with biological ones but instead God has chosen to use this time in our life to bless us with foreign daughters from all over the world. It has been an incredible journey thus far and we look forward to all that lies ahead!

Be on the look out for a few more posts coming your way shortly - one about our basement remodel as we are preparing our "unfinished" bedroom for Martine and one about Martine & Seraina's arrival in Montana! That's right...we're taking this introductory period on the road :) For now, one final picture of our "twins" from last year! Love these girls so, so much.

At the lake house after a "girls day."

Ranch Girls

Time is flying by. Sometimes I wish I could put a brake on the minutes and hours we get to spend with Hanna and Spicy but unfortunately, that is not possible. In the past three months, we have been around the ranch a lot. Home. Between basketball and track, we are often "grounded" here and have to find our own types of entertainment. So, as ranch girls we go to bull sales:

Hanna & Spicy at the Logterman Family Bull Sale

And we check the cows (really we're just going to look at the calves though!) and pick out calves to name (we have a "Spicy" calf, a "Hanna" calf, and a "Lola" calf).

This is "Lola"...so named because she sticks
her tongue out like our dog Lola does.

We feed babies that have no mama (twin baby awaiting a new mother).

Hanna & Jodi's Dad feeding a twin calf.

Spicy feeding the same twin.

And if our name is Spicy we pet them...

The calf thought Spicy was it's mama.

and play with them...

She even would go to Spicy when called!

and say "CUTE!" a million times as we drive through the pasture.

To be clear, the girls have had other experiences though. We have gone to the Omaha Henry Doorly Zoo and the waterfalls. We have been to the Pinnacle Bank Arena in Lincoln (for the Boy's State Championships) and will be going to the Huskers Spring Game this weekend. So don't feel bad for these little ranch girls, they are seeing a lot more than our calves...the calves are just the cutest!

In the rainforest at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha.
See, I have photographic proof!

Holiday Cheer & A Brand New Year

It is weird to think that we made the decision to host foreign exchange students only a year ago. Since then, four beautiful girls have come into our lives. It is also strange to think that Spicy and Hanna have now been here for as long as we had Dani and Amy. I am so glad we don't have to say goodbye to our sweet girls yet because I remember how that felt and I can wait on that terrible feeling! As we look back on 2013, we see a year full of happiness and a year full of sadness. To say we experienced all feelings and emotions in 2013 would be putting it mildly.

January brought excitement as we welcomed Dani and Amy into our home and began our hosting journey. We are so grateful for the time we got to host them and for the lasting relationships we built with our first girls. We made so many memories that we will hold for the rest of our lives.

February is my birthday month and it ended happily but the first part of February was a mixed bag of adjusting to life with the girls, dealing with hard things at school, and rejoicing with my side of the family at our annual bull sale.

March was busy with music contest, track, and daily life. This was the month we chose the students that would be coming in the fall and although I know it was hard for Dani, I am so grateful she helped us with this. We also took a trip to Chicago with Dani and Amy which we squeezed in and I am so glad we did because we have such great memories from it--although George's biggest memory is probably how sick he was.

April is the month of prom and it was also a snowy month here. We spent several days at home due to the white stuff and those days are some of the most memorable for me since it gave us many extra hours to spend together as a family. Bacon, eggs, chocolate chip pancakes, and orange juice generally started out our day and most of the time we were fortunate to get a break in the weather about the time we needed to stock back up on the "necessities" of life.

May began with George's birthday, birthday week, birthday month....and saw the ending of the school year and all the busyness that comes with it. We then set out on our Great American Road trip. At first, I was hesitant about this trip because I knew it would mean many, many hours in the car and we were stuffed in the car like you wouldn't believe. In the end though, I am so thankful that we journeyed through nine states and experienced so many things together in our final days as a family.

June brought what I thought would be the saddest and hardest goodbye of the year (though I was partially wrong there) as we bid farewell to our sweet daughters and sent them back over the pond to their biological parents. I still miss them dearly but now I think back with happiness that we had such a wonderful opportunity to make them part of our family. After returning home, we went to Montana (again...for the second time in the summer) for my cousin Danelle's wedding and had a great time.

July started out happy and busy. The Fourth of July is always a big celebration here and this year was no different. We spent some time in Fremont as well--I always love being in Fremont in the summer because it reminds me of when George and I started dating! We set out at the end of July for Montana (third time!) but this trip was different and marked by two celebrations; one happy, the other sad. My mom's parents were celebrating their 60th anniversary and we had a large family reunion with all but two family members there. However, the day before we were to leave to go to the campground where we would celebrate we received word that my dad's mom (Grandma Bob) had gone to Heaven and so ended July.

August is a bit of a blur. On the way home from Montana the pickup broke down on the side of I-90 at 3:00 a.m. just outside of Kadoka. Since we could not get a tow until the morning, George, Dad, and I slept in the pickup and waited for dawn. After riding all the way from Kadoka to Lakeview in a tow truck, knowing that in a couple of days we would bury my Grandma, home was a welcome sight and my bed an even more welcome sight. August 3 was a sad day.
We spent some time in Fremont when we picked up not only our new students but also two students that are living with our art/Spanish teacher. Spicy, Hanna, Jules, and Susi quickly became friends. They brought back some happiness in August! We knew we were in for a fun year...

September = Hanna's birthday & school. We also had the addition of two more students to our STS group: Sabine and Ella. September was fairly uneventful other than the usual activity of school and fall activities.

October is Halloween and our wedding anniversary. The girls helped decorate the house and we had a fun October working on studying for drivers' permits, riding horse, going to Minneapolis for a Huskers game, and just being an awesome family ;)

November is Thanksgiving and we introduced Spicy and Hanna to overeating! They were a tremendous amount of help in the kitchen and I seriously wondered how I ever got everything done without them (oh yeah, just got up WAY earlier). These poor girls probably get sick of helping me out but they are so good at it and so capable! We traditionally decorate over Thanksgiving weekend and this year was no different.

December was a busy, sad, happy, mixed roller coaster ride. December is always crazy for me because of the programs and preparations that need to be made for them. We had 10+ girls spend the night to sing "Silent Night" in four languages at our church--what an experience to have that many girls sleep on our living room floor! We baked 10 cheesecakes, served 80 people a fancy dinner with a concert, hit a coyote with the car, made over 600 runzas, and celebrated Christmas! These quiet moments I am spending on a beautiful January day in 2014 seem like a better start to the new year than the ending to the last :)

Our 2013 was a happy, sad, jam packed year. We look forward to 2014. May God bless your new year and may His love shine in your hearts and lives now and always.

Personalities

It has been quite some time since I posted last. We have settled in to life with Hanna and Sohyeon...and Sabine...and Jules and Susi...we love having all of the STS girls around and feel thankful that they all get along so well and like spending time together!

A quick snapshot of our everyday:
1. Get ready for school
2. Ride to school (carpooling with Sabine and my mom who hosts Sabine)
3. School
4. George and Jodi go home
5. Jodi starts supper, George goes back to Kilgore to get Hanna, Sohyeon, and Sabine from volleyball practice
6. Eat supper together (Sabine too!) - insert lively conversation here!
7. Sabine goes home
8. We hang out/do homework
9. We go to bed
10. Repeat

Our weekends have been full, fun, and included various activities. This past weekend we took Hanna and Sohyeon to a Huskers game in Minneapolis. Unfortunately the Huskers lost but we had lots of fun experiencing the game atmosphere and enjoyed some shopping time at the Mall of America!

Anyway, I wanted to get a post written and thought I would focus on the girls' personalities and sharing what I love about each one.

Hanna and Sohyeon are as different as can be but they perfectly balance each other and they get along wonderfully. Here is a picture of our beautiful girls all ready for homecoming:

Sohyeon is our little comedian. She loves to dance (and then gets all embarrassed), joke with us, and is super entertaining. We began calling her "Spicy" shortly after she arrived and the name stuck. Originally we called her Spicy because nothing was spicy enough for her taste-buds but it fits her personality more than her food tastes. She is a firecracker and has so many cute, endearing characteristics that we just cannot help but love her. Spicy keeps life interesting and we are so thankful that she is living with us. I also love that she will randomly sit down and play piano. It is wonderful to hear her play! Spicy is a cuddler and will sit right next to me at times and always comes for a hug after being away from me for a longer period of time; which, of course, I love!

Hanna is my little helper. She is very conscientious and is always lending a hand wherever she can be of use. She is so sensitive to other peoples' wants and needs and is extremely considerate. Hanna is so easy to get along with and is all sweetness. I also love that Hanna is willing to make a decision and to express what she would like to experience, eat, or do. Hanna and I have done quite a bit of baking together and she is extremely competent and capable. She is an absolute joy to be around because although she is quieter than Sohyeon, she has the greatest sense of humor. I guess a "kindred spirit" might be the best way to describe the way I feel about Hanna.

Both of our girls have wonderful qualities and we are enjoying them so much. It is hard to believe that they have already been here for two months. I guess the saying is true--time flies when you're having fun!

I will try to update more often but with a busy life like we're living right now, I make no promises. Until next time...God bless you!

Comparing Siblings

The foreign exchange students we are hosting for the year arrived a week ago. We have been planning and waiting for Hanna (Germany) & Sohyeon's (South Korea) arrivals for quite some time. We knew before school was out in the spring who we would be hosting and even had Dani & Amy help look over profiles as we were going through the process of choosing their "replacements" as we jokingly called them. I knew though that these girls would never be a replacement for Dani & Amy (nor would I want them to be) and that comparing them would be useless.

Before daughter one (Dani) & two (Amy) left we talked about how the "new" girls would not be replacements for them and how we would still love them for their own unique qualities. We talked about how we would do probably do different things and go on different trips with Hanna & Sohyeon but no matter what, even if we did some of the same things and went some of the same places, the memories we made with Dani & Amy would be unique from the memories we will make Hanna & Sohyeon.

I have to admit that picking up Sohyeon and Hanna at the airport reminded me so much of picking Dani up eight months ago. (Amy was picked up by my brother Rob & friend Rebekah.) It made me a little sad as I thought about the girls I miss so much that are now an ocean away from me. Dani & Amy were our girls, our daughters, and we miss them. At the same time, I felt excited about the adventures to come and the girls that were now also my daughters. I love them all equally and I know that one day I will miss them all equally and that is where my comparisons end.

Hanna is from Germany and Dani is from Germany. I think that is why I am sensitive to "comparisons" because I am afraid that the two girls think we are comparing them. We are not. We chose another German girl because we liked her profile, not because we expect her to be like Dani.

My hope is that each girl knows that we love them for who they are as individuals. They each bring something special to our life and are their own person. I worry that the kids at school will compare Hanna & Sohyeon to the other foreign exchange students we have had in the past. My hope is that they will give each girl a chance to be who they are and that the kids will see the beauty inside each.

My parents were always good at making me feel special and unique and loved for who I was. May that always be my goal, no matter how many children pass through the doors of my home and my heart.

Left to right: Sohyeon, Hanna, Julie, & Susi
(Julie and Susi are the students a friend is hosting.)

Gma Bob

We laid my Grandma Bob's physical body to rest a week ago. I want to blog a little about my Grandma and put some memories down here as I reflect on a woman that was not only my Gma Bob (as she would write it) but also my friend, mentor, craft buddy and sounding board.

Grandma Bob lived most of her life in Lakeview. During my lifetime she lived first across the community on "Grandpa Ed's" place and then later moved to the house that George and I now live in which is right up the hill from my parents' house. I have distinct and fond memories in both homes and most of them are related directly to Grandma. My Grandpa Bob went to Heaven when I was six years old. Although I remember him, my memories are naturally fewer and vaguer. Grandma Bob, however, made a permanent impression on my life and I would not be the person I am without her influence.

I remember sleeping in the little room next to Grandma's. It had a crazy sliding pocket door that sometimes I couldn't quite get to open correctly. It was the warmest, most comfortable place in the world. I also remember sitting by the heat vent by the kitchen table and listening to the grown-ups talk. I remember the sound the "swamp cooler" made when it was running, playing with a stamp set that Grandma stored in the toy closet, and making a "trap" to try to catch the wild kitties.

I remember spending several weeks at Grandma's house when my older brother Jesse broke his leg. It was during that stay that Grandma taught me a valuable lesson about practicing. I was playing some of the songs in my piano lesson books but not really counting or working on the parts that I wasn't getting correct. Grandma was listening from the kitchen and came in and taught me that I need to not only ALWAYS count but also that I needed to work on the parts that were difficult by themselves and not just struggle through it and consider it "good enough." Grandma was always a fan of music and inspired me to share my God-given talents. She would often buy new church music for me and particularly loved a book that I have that combines classical songs with hymns. I played for her funeral because I know how much she loved to listen to me play and sing and I wanted to give her a final tribute in thanks for all she did to encourage my musical pursuits.

Gma Bob fixing my "halo"
for the Christmas Pagent

Grandma Bob and I were kind of schemers together. We planned a couple of events together and also completed various projects. We planned a "Welcome Home" party for Jesse after his long stay in the hospital and we planned a "Going Away" party for Jon when he left for Marine Boot Camp. We made a barn front for VBS in the garage, on July 4, while it stormed outside and we waited out the weather so we could light off fireworks. We created windows, complete with flower boxes, for the Prairie Light Youth Camp store. We were co-conspirators and had so much fun being creative together. Some of my fondest memories of Grandma include the day each summer that I would help her get down and wash all of her teapots and teacups. Grandma Bob had quite the collection displayed on the top of her cupboards in the house I now live in and each summer I would crawl up on the counter and hand them down to be washed. They would sparkle after Grandma was through with them and I would place them back where they belonged. After we were finished we always had a little "lunch" (Grandma couldn't let someone visit without feeding them after all) and sat to admire our work.

Gma Bob and I with our barn and stuffed kitties.

My Grandma Bob moved to her house on my parents' ranch when I was in high school. I LOVED having her so close. I would often run up to Grandma's house for this or that and almost always ended up sitting at the end of the couch (nearest her special chair) and chatting with her about faith, politics, life, whatever. Grandma was always a good person to seek advice from and always had Biblical insight. I know she prayed for me and loved me dearly and in turn, I prayed for her and loved her dearly. I went to college, graduated, and returned to teach and my relationship with Grandma Bob remained strong. She was my friend and my mentor and I loved spending time with her.

Thanksgiving Eve of 2007 changed her life and mine forever - the night of her stroke. I had a feeling that entire day that something wasn't right and when Grandma wasn't in church that night I knew for sure something was up. Grandma had to move to the nursing home after that and I missed her. I missed chatting with her in her living room and I missed working with her in the kitchen, washing the teapots. I missed knowing that she was just up the hill and I missed seeing her in church. I know she missed me too because she missed Lakeview and all of us there. I visited and she visited but things were never the same and I think in a lot of ways I began to let go of Grandma Bob slowly.

A little over a week before Grandma went home to be with Jesus, I visited her. She greeted me and then held my hand and rubbed her thumb over the top of my hand. I sat and cried because I had this deep feeling that this would be the last time I would see my Grandma Bob on this side of Heaven. I prayed silently that God would take my Grandma home. She had longed for years to be with her Jesus. When I got ready to leave I told her good-bye and that I loved her and said "God Bless You." She kissed my cheek and said "God Bless You." She didn't tell me she loved me like she usually would but she didn't have to...because I knew. I knew she had always loved me and had invested her time and advice and prayers in me because I was precious to her.

Now my tears come at unusual times but they are mostly happy tears. I am happy that Grandma Bob is finally home, where she belongs. I miss her, yes, but I know that she is watching over me and interceding for me just like always. I am happy that I have such wonderful memories of such a great woman. I cried the hardest at the funeral when the recessional song "Go Light Your World" played because that was the essence of my Grandma; sharing with others and praying for others and shining her love for God to everyone she met. It is my prayer that I can be a light to the world as well. It is my comfort to know that Grandma is in Heaven waiting for me and all those she loved so well here on earth. One day we will meet again! Oh what a glorious day that will be. I love you Gma Bob!

Pink rose from Gma's funeral in her
(and now my) kitchen window.

Great American Road Trip

Well, this is a bit delayed. I was hoping to blog about our trip as things happened but then I decided that it was WAY more important to spend that time enjoying our girls before they left. So, they are in the airport getting ready to board their flights and I am here, sad, but ready to blog the highlights from our 10 day excursion. Here we go...

Day One: South Dakota-Montana (via Wyoming)
*We left South Dakota early in the morning...packing all of our luggage for the trip plus Dani & Amy's luggage for the flight home was an adventure. Every time we had to repack it we had to shove and cram and hope the door on the hatch would shut!
*We stopped at Devil's Tower on the way to Manhattan, Montana. This is something George has always wanted to do but we have never taken the time to.

George and I in front of Devil's Tower

*We also stopped at the Little Big Horn Battlefield on our way to Manhattan.

Photo by Dani at Little Big Horn

*We arrived in Manhattan, dropped our stuff off at my Grandparent's house and went into Bozeman to eat at Olive Garden...we got salad and dessert only because the electricity went off about 10 minutes after we sat down. We also went to a movie.

Day Two: Montana
*We took the girls to the Lewis and Clark Caverns. George and the girls went into the caves, I stayed in the parking lot (was just there recently and I'm not a big fan of hiking up the mountain to get to the opening). They seemed to enjoy it.

Picture by Dani - down in the cave

*We also went to Virginia City and walked around. Most of the shops and such were closed because their season hadn't really started yet but we did make it into the candy shop! Virginia City is basically a "ghost town" where people went to mine gold in the 1800s (it was the original capitol of Montana Territory in 1865). It has been preserved and has a historical marker on practically every building!

Day Three: Montana
*George and Dani got up early and went to climb MSU's "M" mountain (they actually climbed past the "M" as well). George has also always wanted to do this but climbing a mountain does not appeal to me. He found a nature-buddy in Dani and he's going to really miss her!

Picture by Dani - looking over Gallatin Valley

Picture by Dani - George and Dani at the top of the mountain

*We ate at my Aunt Robyn and Cousin Jordan's cafe "Rise and Shine"for lunch and then spent some time in Bozeman hanging out and taking in another movie.

Day Four: Montana-Jackson, Wyoming
*Day four was a big day. We saw most of Yellowstone National Park and the Grand Teton National Park. We were hoping to see a moose but never did. We did however get to see a black bear and her cubs! We stayed in Jackson, WY that night.

Mama Bear & Cubs

Day Five: Jackson, Wyoming-Moab, UT (via Idaho)
*Day five was mostly driving. By this time in the trip everyone except me had caught the crazy cold Amy came down with the first night of our trip. George was especially suffering so the girls and I ate supper and spent some time in Arches National Park after we dropped him off at the motel. We got to the Arches right at sunset and it was beautiful.

Beautiful rock formations

Day Six: Moab, UT-Albuquerque, NM (via Colorado & Arizona)
*We spent the first part of this day going through the Arches National Park with George. He was still pretty sick with the cold but able to do a little more after some much needed rest. The highlight of the park was probably the Delicate Arch as it is the one you think of when thinking about Arches National Park.

Amy, George, and Dani standing under the arch

*The other part of day six was traveling to the "Four Corners" were Utah, New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado meet. Pretty fun to say you've been in four states at the same time :)
*We had an AMAZING supper in Albuquerque.

Day Seven: Albuquerque, NM-Dallas, TX (via Roswell, NM)
*This day was mostly traveling but we did stop in Roswell, NM to see the UFO Museum. Normally we would have skipped this but we were so close to Roswell and George likes alien type stuff so we just had to go! It was fun and we also had some great food for lunch at a Mexican restaurant.
I just realized I haven't loaded those pictures...will share them in the next blog because I have a couple super funny ones of George and Dani!
*We made it to Dallas, checked into our motel, and slept!

Day Eight: Dallas, Texas
*Our first full day in Dallas was a bit of a bust as far as plans went. We started the day out at the Dallas Museum of Art and got to see George's sister Leigh's art exhibit "DallasSites" which was incredible. We also went through three other exhibits which were interesting. We went to lunch with Leigh and then ended up going back to the motel because both George and Dani were feeling under the weather. Honestly, I think we were all pretty tired!
*We were supposed to go to the Texas Rangers game...so we headed out with Leigh, got there, parked, ate some supper in the ballpark, and then the game was cancelled due to the rain and lightening. So, we had custard instead and went back to the motel.
*The pool was still open so we spent about an hour swimming and relaxing in the hot tub. It was fantastic and I think as simple as they may be it will be one of my favorite memories from the trip.

Picture by Dani - Bridge near Uptown Dallas

Day Nine: Dallas (and Oklahoma)
*We started today out with a flat tire. We were REALLY thankful for the full sized spare we had to constantly pack around because on this day it saved us!
*We went BACK to the ball field and exchanged our cancelled tickets from the night before for the afternoon Texas Rangers game. We had a ton of fun watching the Rangers beat the Diamondbacks 9-5 and got a little sunburn (okay, I got really sunburned but everyone else just got a little).
*After the game we spent some time resting in the motel and then went out for sushi with Leigh (this was probably Amy's favorite activity of the trip!).
*We ended the night with some swimming and our last road trip--quick trip to Oklahoma so the girls could be in that state as well before they left.

Day Ten: Dallas (and Germany and San Francisco/Australia)
*That brings us up to the present. This morning we got up, went to eat together for the last time as a family and brought the girls to the airport. We said two tearful good-bye for nows and watched our daughters go through security as they prepared to fly home to their biological families.

If you've made it this far into the post you are a committed reader and to you I share my heart at this moment--that was the hardest thing I have had to do. We both feel such an absence and know that life has forever been altered. Hosting has been a joyful and sorrowful experience. We have learned so much from our girls and will miss them dearly. Right now it feels like a gigantic piece of my heart is missing and I know that they hold it as they cross the ocean. To love someone always means that you will eventually have to let go of them. So, for the past 4.5 months we have made memories and enjoyed and loved our girls and now we let go of them so they can return to their biological family. However, we will always hold them dear in our hearts and they will always be OUR first daughters, Dani and Amy.