Comparing Siblings

The foreign exchange students we are hosting for the year arrived a week ago. We have been planning and waiting for Hanna (Germany) & Sohyeon's (South Korea) arrivals for quite some time. We knew before school was out in the spring who we would be hosting and even had Dani & Amy help look over profiles as we were going through the process of choosing their "replacements" as we jokingly called them. I knew though that these girls would never be a replacement for Dani & Amy (nor would I want them to be) and that comparing them would be useless.

Before daughter one (Dani) & two (Amy) left we talked about how the "new" girls would not be replacements for them and how we would still love them for their own unique qualities. We talked about how we would do probably do different things and go on different trips with Hanna & Sohyeon but no matter what, even if we did some of the same things and went some of the same places, the memories we made with Dani & Amy would be unique from the memories we will make Hanna & Sohyeon.

I have to admit that picking up Sohyeon and Hanna at the airport reminded me so much of picking Dani up eight months ago. (Amy was picked up by my brother Rob & friend Rebekah.) It made me a little sad as I thought about the girls I miss so much that are now an ocean away from me. Dani & Amy were our girls, our daughters, and we miss them. At the same time, I felt excited about the adventures to come and the girls that were now also my daughters. I love them all equally and I know that one day I will miss them all equally and that is where my comparisons end.

Hanna is from Germany and Dani is from Germany. I think that is why I am sensitive to "comparisons" because I am afraid that the two girls think we are comparing them. We are not. We chose another German girl because we liked her profile, not because we expect her to be like Dani.

My hope is that each girl knows that we love them for who they are as individuals. They each bring something special to our life and are their own person. I worry that the kids at school will compare Hanna & Sohyeon to the other foreign exchange students we have had in the past. My hope is that they will give each girl a chance to be who they are and that the kids will see the beauty inside each.

My parents were always good at making me feel special and unique and loved for who I was. May that always be my goal, no matter how many children pass through the doors of my home and my heart.

Left to right: Sohyeon, Hanna, Julie, & Susi
(Julie and Susi are the students a friend is hosting.)

Gma Bob

We laid my Grandma Bob's physical body to rest a week ago. I want to blog a little about my Grandma and put some memories down here as I reflect on a woman that was not only my Gma Bob (as she would write it) but also my friend, mentor, craft buddy and sounding board.

Grandma Bob lived most of her life in Lakeview. During my lifetime she lived first across the community on "Grandpa Ed's" place and then later moved to the house that George and I now live in which is right up the hill from my parents' house. I have distinct and fond memories in both homes and most of them are related directly to Grandma. My Grandpa Bob went to Heaven when I was six years old. Although I remember him, my memories are naturally fewer and vaguer. Grandma Bob, however, made a permanent impression on my life and I would not be the person I am without her influence.

I remember sleeping in the little room next to Grandma's. It had a crazy sliding pocket door that sometimes I couldn't quite get to open correctly. It was the warmest, most comfortable place in the world. I also remember sitting by the heat vent by the kitchen table and listening to the grown-ups talk. I remember the sound the "swamp cooler" made when it was running, playing with a stamp set that Grandma stored in the toy closet, and making a "trap" to try to catch the wild kitties.

I remember spending several weeks at Grandma's house when my older brother Jesse broke his leg. It was during that stay that Grandma taught me a valuable lesson about practicing. I was playing some of the songs in my piano lesson books but not really counting or working on the parts that I wasn't getting correct. Grandma was listening from the kitchen and came in and taught me that I need to not only ALWAYS count but also that I needed to work on the parts that were difficult by themselves and not just struggle through it and consider it "good enough." Grandma was always a fan of music and inspired me to share my God-given talents. She would often buy new church music for me and particularly loved a book that I have that combines classical songs with hymns. I played for her funeral because I know how much she loved to listen to me play and sing and I wanted to give her a final tribute in thanks for all she did to encourage my musical pursuits.

Gma Bob fixing my "halo"
for the Christmas Pagent

Grandma Bob and I were kind of schemers together. We planned a couple of events together and also completed various projects. We planned a "Welcome Home" party for Jesse after his long stay in the hospital and we planned a "Going Away" party for Jon when he left for Marine Boot Camp. We made a barn front for VBS in the garage, on July 4, while it stormed outside and we waited out the weather so we could light off fireworks. We created windows, complete with flower boxes, for the Prairie Light Youth Camp store. We were co-conspirators and had so much fun being creative together. Some of my fondest memories of Grandma include the day each summer that I would help her get down and wash all of her teapots and teacups. Grandma Bob had quite the collection displayed on the top of her cupboards in the house I now live in and each summer I would crawl up on the counter and hand them down to be washed. They would sparkle after Grandma was through with them and I would place them back where they belonged. After we were finished we always had a little "lunch" (Grandma couldn't let someone visit without feeding them after all) and sat to admire our work.

Gma Bob and I with our barn and stuffed kitties.

My Grandma Bob moved to her house on my parents' ranch when I was in high school. I LOVED having her so close. I would often run up to Grandma's house for this or that and almost always ended up sitting at the end of the couch (nearest her special chair) and chatting with her about faith, politics, life, whatever. Grandma was always a good person to seek advice from and always had Biblical insight. I know she prayed for me and loved me dearly and in turn, I prayed for her and loved her dearly. I went to college, graduated, and returned to teach and my relationship with Grandma Bob remained strong. She was my friend and my mentor and I loved spending time with her.

Thanksgiving Eve of 2007 changed her life and mine forever - the night of her stroke. I had a feeling that entire day that something wasn't right and when Grandma wasn't in church that night I knew for sure something was up. Grandma had to move to the nursing home after that and I missed her. I missed chatting with her in her living room and I missed working with her in the kitchen, washing the teapots. I missed knowing that she was just up the hill and I missed seeing her in church. I know she missed me too because she missed Lakeview and all of us there. I visited and she visited but things were never the same and I think in a lot of ways I began to let go of Grandma Bob slowly.

A little over a week before Grandma went home to be with Jesus, I visited her. She greeted me and then held my hand and rubbed her thumb over the top of my hand. I sat and cried because I had this deep feeling that this would be the last time I would see my Grandma Bob on this side of Heaven. I prayed silently that God would take my Grandma home. She had longed for years to be with her Jesus. When I got ready to leave I told her good-bye and that I loved her and said "God Bless You." She kissed my cheek and said "God Bless You." She didn't tell me she loved me like she usually would but she didn't have to...because I knew. I knew she had always loved me and had invested her time and advice and prayers in me because I was precious to her.

Now my tears come at unusual times but they are mostly happy tears. I am happy that Grandma Bob is finally home, where she belongs. I miss her, yes, but I know that she is watching over me and interceding for me just like always. I am happy that I have such wonderful memories of such a great woman. I cried the hardest at the funeral when the recessional song "Go Light Your World" played because that was the essence of my Grandma; sharing with others and praying for others and shining her love for God to everyone she met. It is my prayer that I can be a light to the world as well. It is my comfort to know that Grandma is in Heaven waiting for me and all those she loved so well here on earth. One day we will meet again! Oh what a glorious day that will be. I love you Gma Bob!

Pink rose from Gma's funeral in her
(and now my) kitchen window.