Comparing Siblings

The foreign exchange students we are hosting for the year arrived a week ago. We have been planning and waiting for Hanna (Germany) & Sohyeon's (South Korea) arrivals for quite some time. We knew before school was out in the spring who we would be hosting and even had Dani & Amy help look over profiles as we were going through the process of choosing their "replacements" as we jokingly called them. I knew though that these girls would never be a replacement for Dani & Amy (nor would I want them to be) and that comparing them would be useless.

Before daughter one (Dani) & two (Amy) left we talked about how the "new" girls would not be replacements for them and how we would still love them for their own unique qualities. We talked about how we would do probably do different things and go on different trips with Hanna & Sohyeon but no matter what, even if we did some of the same things and went some of the same places, the memories we made with Dani & Amy would be unique from the memories we will make Hanna & Sohyeon.

I have to admit that picking up Sohyeon and Hanna at the airport reminded me so much of picking Dani up eight months ago. (Amy was picked up by my brother Rob & friend Rebekah.) It made me a little sad as I thought about the girls I miss so much that are now an ocean away from me. Dani & Amy were our girls, our daughters, and we miss them. At the same time, I felt excited about the adventures to come and the girls that were now also my daughters. I love them all equally and I know that one day I will miss them all equally and that is where my comparisons end.

Hanna is from Germany and Dani is from Germany. I think that is why I am sensitive to "comparisons" because I am afraid that the two girls think we are comparing them. We are not. We chose another German girl because we liked her profile, not because we expect her to be like Dani.

My hope is that each girl knows that we love them for who they are as individuals. They each bring something special to our life and are their own person. I worry that the kids at school will compare Hanna & Sohyeon to the other foreign exchange students we have had in the past. My hope is that they will give each girl a chance to be who they are and that the kids will see the beauty inside each.

My parents were always good at making me feel special and unique and loved for who I was. May that always be my goal, no matter how many children pass through the doors of my home and my heart.

Left to right: Sohyeon, Hanna, Julie, & Susi
(Julie and Susi are the students a friend is hosting.)